Thanksgiving

give thanks. give food. give love.

thank you.

last night.

Didn't sleep,
couldn't sleep.

I felt like i was dieing.
maybe not physically, but emotionally, spiritually.
A death much, much worse.

my stomach is progressively getting worse.
it turns, and turns.

I hope all is well with you, and your spirit.

I am sorry.

I will never stop loving you.

sometimes I get lost.

I asked myself tonight "where am I?"

I am lost.
I looked up at the stars for a sense of direction.
My answer was beyond the stars.

I killed something, something beautiful.
I destroyed it with my bare hands.
My stupidity led to me getting lost, then killing this amazing, and beautiful something.

Every night since Ive killed it, my dreams are haunted by it.
When I wake up there is a pit in my stomach.
I read an old letter today and cried out "What have I done?"

The part of this story that really makes my stomach turn is that I dont know if there is a happy ending.


the feeling of regret has never attacked me like it does now.

I am sorry.

Things are changing.

aubrey here:

July 2nd, 2010

Minlota photographs.

Curly hair

Long hair

Alfalfa & Darla

like James Taylor and Carli Simon

(before the divorce)

♥

iloveyouso

modern day ALB & AJB

My dear aubrey and I now a days.

We're all grown up.

the accordion.

The story of Alexander, and his new accordion.

On Friday around five, I stepped foot into an antique shop on center street in Provo. It reminded me of being in my grandmothers garage in San Fransisco. The smell of old leather, and dusty photos. I used to rummage through that garage every visit I had over there.


I looked to my left upon entering this dusty wonderland, and beheld a hand made Italian masterpiece of an instrument. I hadn't planned on purchasing anything when I agreed to go to this shop of old junk, with my lovely miss Aubrey Bond. However I felt inspired to ask the gay man working the counter if I could try this beautiful instrument out.

It was love at first note. Emotion filled my body when the first chord full of french serenade was played. I knew I had to buy it. The price tag said $125, but that didn't matter to me. I was willing to pay whatever. I needed this love stricken instrument in my life. The gay man sold it to me for $100 for reasons unknown.





I have it strapped around my neck right now. It feels so natural, so right.

The night ended at a classy restaurant on university ave in Provo called Communal. The evening was filled with beauty, love, and good memory's.

Im going to miss my love.

I got six strings and a soul

Pushin my fingers hard against these ropes of bronze.
I got to make something.
I got to translate the language of emotion into a groove.

Rather then look into the future,
I listen.

" You cant make a career out of music" School Counselors
"Im not trying to make it a career, Im making it a lifestyle"

Although I do want to make money to support a family one day, the money will come with faith and trust in the fact that the lord provides a way.

I'll make music.

I'll let music make me.

Recording history with tones.

Creating emotion through bass frequency's.

Do what you want.
-Alex J. Bateman